Sh** My Husband Says…part 1

Anyone who has known me for longer then five minutes knows that I have an strange, quirky sense of humor…. it’s gotten me into trouble many MANY times…and I’m sure it will continue to do so.  That being the case I have a deep appreciation for dry sarcastic humor…. I blame my stepdad who couldn’t-can’t- utter two sentences without being sarcastic in some way shape or form.  Can you say Nature vs. Nuture?  LOL But that’s a debate for another time.  Anyway… since I have such an appreciation for the darker forms of humor…. inevitably I married a man who also has a dry sarcastic sense of humor.  I love him to death and it’s mostly do to the fact that I find him so damn hilarious.  Most people look at him and within minutes of meeting him will agree that he is an ASS…. to which he just shrugs and says ‘Yea I kinda got the memo’.  Probably the most entertaining and aggrevating quality about him is that he has an awesome poker face…. he can say the most outrageous crap with a completly straight face… in fact most times he appears down right bored.  So most people think he’s serious…… hell even I can’t tell the difference some days and I’m married to him.


In any case… since he has a habit of saying such hilarious things… I’ve taken to noting some of them down to share with others.  So here goes……I hope you get a few chuckles.



About a year ago my husband worked as a manager at one of the local restruants.  One Sunday morning my husband was running late to work- as he normally is.  I swear that man thinks it take him 5 mintes to get everywhere.  He’ll be late to his own funeral…just watch.  Anyway… He gets in and the owner of the resturaunt calls.

“Why were you late?” he demands, “Where you sitting in traffic?”

Without missing a beat my husband replies; “Yea I was….Then I decided I should probably get in the car.”

He somehow managed to NOT get in trouble……


Later that day….he was sitting in the office counting money when his other boss, the owners wife, comes in.  She is in a rediculous bubbly happy mood and randomly asks…. “What do you like to do for fun?”

My husband doesn’t  look up from his money and replies, “I enjoy going to nursing homes dressed as the grim reaper, what about you?”

After a very long extended silence…he eventually had to explain to his boss that he was kidding.



I hope you enjoyed this addition of ‘The Sh** My Husband Says’

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment if you want. ^.^



1 Comment

Filed under Humor, sh** my husband says

One response to “Sh** My Husband Says…part 1

  1. HAHA, your husband has the same humor as me.

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