How I Spent My Christmas Vacation….

Ah Christmas break, that wonderful time of year when kids get out of school and get two weeks of freedom…. Parents generally associate it as two weeks of Hell.  Especially when the weather is crappy, like it has been, where two weeks of freedom is reduced to two weeks of listening to children argue and fight because it is  to nasty to go outside and play and they’re bored out of their minds and getting stir crazy.

So yea…great fun.

I’ve never been so happy to go back to work; even though getting out of bed a oh-dark-thirty on Monday morning was physically painful and no amount of coffee seemed to be able to wake my ass up.

Over all, the two weeks off was nice.  I didn’t do much more than eat, sleep, and read… pretty sure I gained back every bit of weight I had lost over the last few months.

And other than a few hiccups involving kids fighting, broken toys and the unspoken opinions of who is coddling who, along with the added bonus of varying opinions of the appropriate responses to “getting over” personal issues…. the vacation was nearly drama free.

New Years was nice, we took a few days to get away and visit some OTHER family.  Got to drink (a lot) and not feel guilty about having something stronger then beer or wine.  Got my ass handed to me in dominoes.  Though, in my defense, it was the first time I had really ever truly played dominoes before….and oddly enough I seemed to get better at it the longer I played and the more I drank.  Go figure.

In any case, having a few days away was much appreciated; had some nice homemade Mexican food…. oh yea, it was wonderful.  I was such a glutton.

But now it’s back to the real world, and back to work, back to school and all the lovely annoyances like homework and behavior reports that go along with it.

That being said, I have to share with you this latest incident…

So, yesterday, there I am being a good mom and diligently working on making my son’s birthday cake (He’s 7 today!!! Happy Birthday baby!!).  He had a bizarre request for his cake this year; I’m beginning to think he makes an effort at trying for combinations to stump me now.  Last year it was chocolate cake with orange frosting, and oh I want orange FLAVORED frosting.

This year he wanted chocolate cake, chocolate and orange frosting, strawberries, bananas, and marshmallows.  (-_-)  Really? That’s what you’re going with?  But, whatever, it’s your cake.  I can work with it.

So, yea, there I am, making this cake and making some chocolate covered strawberries and bananas to go with it; when I get a message from his teacher saying I needed to check his folder when he got home because he had a disciplinary note.

Great, just freaking great.  What was it now???  We’ve been having a few issues with behavior lately; nothing overly horrifying, but there’s been running around in class, hitting and even a 2-day in-school detention for fighting… so yea, WTF was it THIS time??

I go and get him from school at three; and right off the bat, he plops his folder down on the divider between the seats and says he got a note from the teacher.  The conversation does as follows:

Son: I got a discipline note…

Me: I know, your teacher told me.  What did you do?

Son: *sheepishly* She didn’t tell you?

Me: No, she didn’t.  So what did you do?

Son: Well…um… *takes a deep breath and sighs in defeat* I pulled my pants down at recess.

Me: …………………… you did what????

Son: I pulled my pants down at recess.

Me: Why would you do that?????

Son: Because *classmate* was picking on me and wouldn’t stop so I pulled my pants down.

Me: ………….so you… mooned him?????? *trying really hard to keep a straight face and NOT laugh*

Son: Yea….

Me: And did it work? Did he stop picking on you?

Son: ……..well….no…..

Me: Then it didn’t work and we’re not going to do it any more ARE we??

Son: Yes ma’am….




What do you say to that? I don’t even know where he even learned it.  He said from a buddy, but who knows. Of all the things he could have gotten in trouble for; I hadn’t been expecting THAT. Good grief.

How sad is it, though, that I’m a wee-bit impressed at his creativity?  I mean, how many kids think to moon the person that’s picking on them instead of, oh I don’t know….hitting them? Or crying? Or just suffering silently until years down the line they snap and go on a killing spree?

SMH… that boy, I swear.  Never a dull moment.

Well, I hope everyone that celebrated had a wonderful holiday, and a great start to a new year.

I’ve decided this year that we’re going to go on more adventures.  See more things, do more things… Get my kid out of the small town and explore this state we live in a bit more.

Til next time folks…




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Filed under Adventures of the Not So Nice Librarian, Humor, sh** my family says

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